July 27th, 2023, began like many other days for me. I woke up and went to work. I knew I had cancer and planned to let my co-workers know that morning. I was having issues swallowing water that morning and had told Valerie I would probably leave at lunchtime so we could head to the ER.
I informed both the Engineering Manager and Director of Engineering about my diagnosis. They then let everyone know we had a quick meeting. This was when I let them all know what was happening. I did not know much about what would happen since I had just found out the day before.
My original plan was to undergo treatment and still work. I did get choked up a couple of times while telling them. I finally contacted my gastro doctor, who emphasized the need for me to get to the ER. So, I left at lunch and drove home. Valerie and I then headed to Gainesville for the ER. That particular hospital is the best one in our area. They are cardiac specialists and have a clinic for the cancer center at North Side Hospital. I knew I was in good hands.
When we arrived, there was a short wait before I was taken back so the testing could begin. Of course, plenty of blood was taken, and then a CT was taken. While waiting for results and to be admitted, we sat in our little cubicle, observing the people around us.
Now, this following exchange was a double slam. This doctor, whom I had not seen, walks over to us. He makes sure who I am and, in a rather shitty manner, tells me I have stage four cancer. This was the first time we had heard about it spreading to my liver. His demeanor was just as shitty as his delivery. Then he walks away, leaving us to reflect on his crappy delivery. Later, the doctor who had seen me came over to tell me the news. He was far better with his delivery. The following day, after I had been admitted, the house Doctor came by to tell me again. She had the nurses leave the room and sat on the bed to tell me. She handled things well and was unhappy when I told her about the first guy.
Not much happened during my nine-day stay in the hospital other than waiting. I did have a feeding tube inserted into my stomach and was started on my liquid nutrition. Most of my time was spent watching TV and getting blood drawn. My blood sugar was a constant issue since the IV fluids I was also on were dextrose-based.
Getting the feeding tube was a little strange. They took me down to the interventional radiology group. They use a live X-ray to guide them in what they are doing. I had a tube inserted into my stomach through my nose. This was used to inflate my stomach. I was very much awake during the whole procedure but was feeling very dopy, so I didn’t care what was happening. A larger needle was then poked through my belly into my stomach. The feeding tube was inserted, and two stitches were used to hold it in place.
While I was gone, my sister-in-law Judy showed up. She and my brother live about 30 minutes from the hospital. My brother was in Alaska doing a summer job driving a bus for a resort. He does that since he is retired. Judy is a nurse, and it was very nice to have her come over. I would have to wait twelve hours before the liquid nutrition would go through the feeding tube.
Later that night, my stomach began to wake up and started moving. The tube, being new, was a source of some intense pain. That pain was brief but intense while things were starting to return to normal. When it was time to start the nutritional liquid, I made my nurse laugh. He was hooking up a large liter bottle of the liquid through the IV pump. I looked at the bottle and said, “I’m not a fan of chocolate. Is there another flavor?”
He paused momentarily, then started to laugh, and so did I. Laughing was a little painful due to the tube. He had a big smile and said, “That’s a great attitude.” Humor and mental sharpness are essential at all times.
Now, to some of the business side of all of this. Cancer is expensive to treat. I have access to the VA medical, but there are specific rules to follow when using their system. I am lucky, in this instance, because I live outside the limit that would force me to either do treatment in Atlanta or Ashville, NC. But, to get to use a doctor of my choice typically requires a request ahead of time. I was going to go through the process backward.
I called the VA and let them know what was happening. Since I am already seeing a therapist for depression and PTSD, the VA knew I was eligible for community care. That is the care outside the VA. I also made an appointment with an oncologist who practiced with Dr. Kallab. He is the doctor who saved Valerie when she had breast cancer, so I wanted him. I was assured by the lady in Atlanta they would get me set up for community care for the cancer treatments.
As many people can imagine, the VA typically can drag its feet. I know some veterans who have waited long to be seen, so I was worried. But, two days after I called them, I got a call from a nurse at the oncologist. She was the same nurse he had in 2007 and remembered me. She told me I would see him and set up an appointment. She also told me the VA had been in contact with them. Later that day, I was called by the VA and told I was approved for community care for one year for the treatments. Two days!!!! Two freaking days to get me to see who I wanted. Talk about a massive emotional boost.
Then, the other boot dropped with the VA; ordering my nutrition fluids took them a little longer. That delay kept me in the hospital for a few extra days since I could not go home until I had supplies there.
Eventually, I was taken off IV fluids and started to do my feedings through the tube using a large syringe. I was in the hospital from July 26th to August 4th. I had been through an emotional wringer since finding out I had cancer. I was now a person with stage four cancer and needed a feeding tube to meet my nutritional needs. August 7th was my initial appointment with my oncologist. I was both excited and scared to see him. I knew treatment was going to be my only hope. But, I had confidence in him and his team.
All the while I was in the hospital my mom kept calling me. I had called her and told her about my diagnosis when I found out on July 25th. That was a hard call to make. Some things are hard to do over a phone call, but I had to do it since she lived in Illinois. When I found out I had stage four cancer, I wanted to tell her in person. So, I was making plans to do that.
When I went home, my mother-in-law was hesitant to cook. She made supper for us every night and always had cookies or other treats. She loved cooking and was worried it would bother me to smell the food. Before I started on the liquid supplement, smelling food made me hungry. I was starving myself before the tube was inserted. But, afterward, food didn’t bother me nearly as much. Yes, I did miss eating and wasn’t sure if I would ever get to eat again. I spent the weekend resting and getting my mental state focused on the coming fight. I will go into more detail in the next part. But let me say this: my plans went to hell after my first conversation with my oncologist.
In the immortal words of John Paul Jones,
“I have not yet begun to fight!”
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