My
typical plan for my Writing Wednesday blog post is to start it after my evening
cigar Tuesday night. It gives me time to reflect on what has taken place over
the past week. The big thing that hit me was support.
We
have all sorts of support when writing, moral, emotional, financial, and
industry. I had been writing well over a year before I joined my first Facebook
writers group. I had been writing for about 6 months before I told my wife. I
still have not told my mom, but there is a reason for that.
My
wife has been telling me I need to write romance books for years. I had always
wanted to write a thriller or a suspense book. But, she knew I had it in me to
write a romance. When I started writing "In The Stars," it had a good
deal more of a suspense vibe than a romance. So, I began to change what I
wrote. I let her start to read, and she became my biggest supporter. That
little bit of support helped me out immensely.
The
first Facebook groups I joined were general writing groups. Some random posts
would come up about romance, but not much. When I joined, I was getting to the
time when I needed advice on editing, covering, and publishing. The members
were not much of a help. Then I saw a person post a Romance writers group they
were part of, so I joined.
That
was not much of a group. I don't know if the ladies there felt I was trying to
invade or what, but they never made me feel welcome and rarely answered my
questions. I began to falter because I needed that insider/industrial support.
I had the moral ground covered, but I needed people inside to help me. Google
is great, but first-hand accounts are priceless.
I
found a couple good groups for romance writers, and they treated me decently. I
actually have had some excellent support in a couple of groups. The information
shared has been fantastic, and the help I have directly received has indeed
been priceless.
Then
there is the financial support needed to get your book edited, proofread,
formatted, and cover made. Of the
necessary support, this one can be the hardest to garner. Oddly the pandemic
helped me out with that. I was working t home and saving a decent amount of
money by not driving and eating lunch out every day. So, I did get that part
taken care of.
I
find it strange that many different writers in different groups state their
families do not know or don't support their writing. I just don't know I could
have gotten to where I am without my wife's support. I have not told my mom I
am writing because I want to send her a copy for Christmas. I will have to tell
her it gets a little steamy inside, so she will have to decide if she wants to
read it. My mother in law read through my first draft, steamy parts and all. To
me, having the support of those close to us is very important. My wife is
partially the inspiration for my story, so she is very supportive of me.
I
have had friends, and family members do strange things. Even though I might not
agree with some of these, I am supportive of them. That is important; people do
need to know, you have their back.
Facebook
friends and groups can be a significant hindrance or considerable help. Living
in that virtual world is rather touchy; people are strange creatures. As I had
mentioned above, some groups are helpful, while others are a waste of time. It
is nice to get positive help and reinforcement from your peers. I know first
hand how you can get bummed about something, but somebody gives you a
compliment or gives you a new set of eyes on an issue. Those are important to
have.
Support
does not always have to be positive, but if you have to give negative comments,
make sure to do it correctly. I would hope people would tell me something was terrible,
but constructively. I have had people be blatant about the quality of my work,
and it can hurt. But, if you offer criticism correctly, it can be positive. I
forgot that in one group. I had read something that was not my thing and said
that. It was taken wrong, so I have to explain more. Remember, people put their
inflection into what you write.
We
all know people like to hear good things. Be supportive, even if you might not
necessarily be 100% behind something. Sometimes being supporting means not
saying a word. It is a fine line; trust me, I've found out the hard way.
And,
without mentioning names, some of my peer support I have received the last few
weeks has come at the right time and really gave me a boost!
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